Saturday, April 13, 2013

0 STC Saturdays: Misadventures of a Blood Bowl Commissioner #2

This past week has been a hectic one between the sexual accusations from not one but five of the Bloodwiser Gurls and getting the V-Nuffle league ready for the regular season. My lawyers tell me that those cheersleaders have nothing on me due to them testing clean for not just sexual transmitted diseases but just any ailment due to my Nurgle's Rot. With them handling the soap opera I focused in on V-Nuffle.

With thirteen lucky coaches and teams all vying to be the V-Nuffle champions I need to set out a solid foundation of rules to ensure that the gods if Chaos didn't destroy this league. Countless Commissioners have had their glorious careers cut short due to rioting fans, drug enhancement abuse including Viagra, blood lusting players and general mismanagement. No one said being cheesy would be easy but Kevin Costner did say "if you build it they will come". And come they did; from all walks if life ranging from Orcs, Wood Elves, Undead, Lizardmen, Khemri, Norse, Dwarves (their short stature and little beards creep me out), Chaos and of course Nurgle. Each them begging me to start the season before any league rules were laid out. I maaged with a ton of nurglings to keep my race horses in the starting blocks which allowed me to publish the rules. I am going to share these rules with you just in case you find yourself in a similar chair. Here they are:

01/ 10 game season single round knockout playoffs;

02/ Four Games Maximum/month;

03/ Two Games Minimum/month;

04/ Not allowed to play a team with that has more than a two game difference;

05/ Not allowed to play the same team twice;

06/ Regular season kicks off on April 1st and will end no later than the end of August;

07/ Once all teams have played their 10 games the playoff will begin once the seeding is set;

08/ All players start with stock starting skills;

09/ Your opponents will pick your MVP during the post game;

10/ No illegal procedure calls;

11/ No action playing cards will be used of any kind;

12/ If the game ends in a tie their is no over time in the Regular Season. Playoff/Championship will have an extra 8 round half if the game ends in a tie;

13/ Both players will report their game results via the FaceSmash group; Either they each post or one of the two can just comment/like their opponents post;

14/ The league will be using a points based system as follows: Win = 3pts, Draw = 1 and Loss = 0

15/ Roster updates must be submitted after each game. This is to include new skills, players, payroll and money in the bank;

16/ If the season ends and you have not finished all your games you miss the playoff automatically. This is to prevent someone from not playing their games once they have a solid record behind them. This is there to allow the other players to continue playing/developing their teams;

17/ Teams are permitted to fold after their first three games have been played. If you fold your team your record will be one win less and one loss more than the worst team in the league. You may have to wait to play more games if you are further ahead then the rest of the teams. This is so a proper assessment of the league standing can be done to match where you are. IE: You play your Game 7 and fold your team but there are teams at the Game 5 mark. Once these teams have reached Game 7 your record will then be set to the worst in the league and you may continue; and

18/ Commissioner (that's me) has final say with rule/schedule/dispute problems.
As you can see that is one hell of a rule set but without them I would be without a Blood Bowl league to play in. These rules along with a FaceSmash group will allow me track team records, team values, team progression and player advancements. All very dry, unadulterated and puss free. This my fans is the backbone of any and all Commissioners. In order to make up for these human, I mean boring misadventure post I have hired two announcers to follow my favourite team the Nurglattle PlagueHawks. So stay tuned in to The STC for lots of bone crushing Blood Bowl action with a dash of crabs to keep things interesting.

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