Friday, December 28, 2012

0 National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Screw you Randy Quaid and Chevy Chase for stealing all the lime light in the National Lampoon series.  What the PANDA was the Warner Brothers thinking when they hired those two LOSERS over the like of ME!!!  Well if I have it my way, which is not just good old dead Frank Sinatra's way, I will be the one staring in this years National Lampoon Christmas Vacation.  That's right, the HOTpanda is going on a god damn trip.  Where do you ask?  I'm going to NAM!!!  That's right to VIETNAM baby!!!

For the next three and a half weeks I will not be making my regular rounds here at The Chaos Manifesto or over at my bachelor pad at the Standard Template Construct.  I may from time to time pop my head out of the Ho Chi Minh tunnels for a surprise post or two but overall I will be lost in the jungles of Vietnam.

If for whatever reason I don't make it back, you can presume I have either been sold on the black market for my greasy but delectable meat or have drown myself in my own vomit.  Either one is possible especially when you consider the size of the rump roast I am packing or the quality of food and craft beer I will be stuffing myself with.  In the end on;y time will tell but here's to neither of those happening and a killer new year for all you out there in the blog-o-sphere.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

1 WIP it Wednesday #33: Hungry like the Wolf

Ravenous is an understatement.  Starving to say the least.  Desperate, without a doubt.  Willing to eat anything, including a homeless man's face?  Hell ya!!!  With food shelters dishing out countless bowls of hot steaming soup I thought I would serve up a fresh bowl of Ravenous before I disappear for the next three weeks.  Cutting deep into the fat and straight to the point here is what I have been up to the past few weeks.
 As you can see the blood of the innocent have brought my traitors to life.  On the cusp of battle they too are willing to eat anything placed in front of them.  They have been gobbling up the pots of paint; one after another.  Each one adding to the depth of their vibrancy and complexion.  Each one of them an individual in their own right; willing to stab the back of the one next to him if that means a larger share of the kill.
The only thing that holds them back is alpha wolves that keep them in line.  Fuelled by the hatred of million men they lash out the bristles of my brushes.  Commanding me to paint them with the fury of Khorne.  Impatient in their ways they howl at me in the lonely hours of night.  Impeding my sleep with the screams of hatred I have spent the bulk of my time a slave to their hungry.
To those of you who are akin to the needs of their plight I warn you of the blight that is approaching.  The next three weeks will see the a famine here on the Chaos Manifesto.  Fear not though for when I return their will be a feast of images for all of you to gorge upon.  It is then that I will invite all of you to feed with the pack for we all are hungry like the wolf.

Monday, December 24, 2012

3 Dear Santa Claws: HOTpanda

Dear Santa Claws,

Hey Ho, long time no high five Santa.  I have thought long and hard about what I, a HOTpanda, wants for Christmas.  Unlike the other pandas on the plateau I care little for bamboo or kung-fu lessons.  I want lasers that I can shoot from my eyes and light my cigarettes. That's right you grumpy old man, I said I want LAZERS.  The sheer power that I would possess would allow me to cook the meat off the faces of those I choose to eat.  Chinese remedies my furry little behind.  I will show them a taste of their own medicine that they will never forget.  I will make Godzilla look like a joke.  This is of course when you bring me my shiny new laser eyeballs.  If that is not possible bah humbug to you and your tiny little elves.

For secondary items I have longing for a horse to ride.  My furry little feet are delicate like that of a ballerina. Perhaps something more sinister though, like that of Khorne Juggernaught.  Make it three as you never known when you are going to have to put one down.  You know how it with those reindeer of yours...I am sure you sent hundreds if not more to the glue factory.  Where else would you get all that glue you need to assembly your toys?  Enough about you though as this wish list is about my needs and wants not yours.  With a Juggernaught I could crush the puny little skulls of all those that dare to face me at the gaming tables.  I would be a fearsome rider of hell and behind me would be a pale horse named death.
Not your cup of tea? Well how about hooking me up with a dragon to train.  I know that in past year how to train dragon was high on the wish list so you must have one or two lying around on misfit island.  It may not be lasers or Juggernaughts for eyes but a heldrake would be the next best thing.  They would still enable me the ability to cook their faces before I ate them.  Think about how epic it would look to have a HOTpanda riding on the back of a DRAGON.  That is the kind of  thing you could paint on the side of your van or what some would say dreams are made of.
I know some of these toys are not your average run of the puppy mill kind of toy but I was a good panda this past year.  I have been feverishly working away at expanding my Renegade Space Wolves and even started a Traitor Guard army to be their bitches.  Combine that with the fact that I ate the faces off a crap ton of cheese filled gamers and I have done the world a butt load of good.  I have been a such a good boy that you should give me all three of these awesome gifts of chaos.  That's pretty much it Old Saint Nick, no socks, no bacon stripped underwear, not even a persian rug to wrap the dead hookers in.  Just lasers for eyes, three Juggernaughts and a couple of Heldrakes.  If you can meet your end of the bargain I will make sure that I don't poison the cookies and milk this year.

Yours truly HOTpanda

Friday, December 21, 2012

2 Road to Gottacon 2013 - The List

Phone numbers, addresses, timings, appointments and the list goes on and on and on.  Each letter stains my hands and the words themselves squeeze my grip on reality.  Regardless of the strain that I am feeling I must remember one thing...that I have placed this burden on my shoulders and mine alone. The one task that weighs on me the most though is the seventy five traitors that are screaming at me to stain them with essence of life.  If their demands were not enough they have pledged a Vendetta against me as well.  Condemned to bear their needs alone, I feel the weight of the heavens as the Titan Atlas once did.
With the celestial spheres orbiting overhead and my eyes fixated on the future of my fate I pray to the Demi Gods for salvation.  The date of February first cast a long dark shadow over my existence.  The tournament is to take place that date and while it may seem distance in terms of time and space it is closer than you think.  Between now and then I will be traveling to foreign lands   Three and half weeks will be stolen from the preparation that is needed; leaving me with only twenty two days to weather the storm.  To ensure that both the traitors and myself will meet their fate I have created a list to keep me on track.
21 Dec - Red Gore/Blood Red
22 Dec - Thrakka Green Wash then Blood Red 
23 Dec - Seattle Football Game vs 49ers
24 Dec - Evil Sunz
25 Dec - Chardonnay Granite
26 Dec - Chardonnay Grinte and Nulin Oil wash

27 Dec to 16 Jan - Vietnam

17 Jan - Chardonnay Granite/Adeptus Battle Grey
18 Jan - Adeptus Battle Grey/Codex Grey
19 Jan - Codex Grey & Nulin Oil Wash
20 Jan - Paint Skin on all traitors
21 Jan - 4 x Grey Hunters 
22 Jan - 4 x Grey Hunters
23 Jan - 4 x Grey Hunters
24 Jan - 4 x Grey Hunters
25 Jan - Club Night
26 Jan - Lone Wolves x 2, Sanctioned Psyker and Long Fangs x 4
27 Jan - Vendetta 
28 Jan to 30 Jan - Basing and final touches
31 Jan - Prep for battle
01 Feb - WAR!!!
As one can see the tides of battle leave little time for error.  One slip, one stumble and all could come thundering down.  The battle will not be won in a single day but rather over the course of several.  If all goes according to plan I hope to have not only an army of traitors but belt victory wrapped around my furry little waist.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

2 WIP it Wednesday #33: Santa's Workshop

As the days grow shorter and the night longer I fear that the Chaos within is consuming me.  The conditions are horrific at best and the prospect of completing this task is daunting to say the least.  My deadline may not be on Christmas eve but the lack of days haunts me like the ghost of Christmas past.  He has given me a deadline that imposes on my sanity.  Twenty three days to make and paint just over one hundred models.  The elves our around me are each feverishly working on their own task.  Each of them tolling away the hours with their heads down.  Oblivious to the conditions that surround they are numb from the gallons of milk and cookies they have been forced to eat.
This past weekend the whip was cracked and I was forced to paint model after model.  Not wanting me to taste the feeling of success Santa had me painting via an assembly line.  No thinking required, just paint here and there and then repeat over and over and over.  No breaks could be afford which meant that I would not be fed either.  Instead Santa teased me with his milk and cookies while his reindeer played their games.

I feared for my life and my sanity as the days began to melt into each other.  Like Las Vegas his toy shop has no windows or clocks.  The concept of time is covered in a blanket of snow.  Jolly Saint Nick he is not.  Rather he is a demon summoned from the depth of hell.  A slave master with heart of coal.  His decrypted smile flogging me with words far from joy or kindness.  He cracks the whip again and screamed "to all a good night".

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

5 WIP it Wednesday #32: Platoon Command Squad

Tracing his grimy fingers across the prisoners face, he savoured the fear that filled its eyes.  They both knew what fate had in store for the prisoner; one of them cherished thought while the other one chocked on his own anxiety.  He wished in tongues of what his God yearned from his pathetic existence.   Just like how they both knew what was coming they both new the god that he talked about.  The trophies of his captors previous kills and the iconography that adorned his armour were clearly that of the Blood God.  The one drew his final breath as the other drew his chain sword.  The prisoner's last words echoed into the warp, "Save your souls for The Ravenous are here..." Wiping the bloodstain of the fallen off his face he stared down upon the master piece that he had just created.  The twisted smile spoke a thousand words.  Each word separated into five more.  Each one depicting countless acts of atrocities.  Each of them orders that were delivered from one man.  Fear was his tool and deception was his aid.  Surrounded with an entourage of traitors and thugs there was little doubt that he would stain the galaxy in the blood of the innocent.
Lets dispense with the descriptive words and cut down the meat away from each of these models.  Each one of them is a unique HOTpanda conversion, kitbash or whatever you want to call it.  Either way they are my models, they are my Traitor Guard Platoon Command Squad.  The Platoon Commander himself is primarily based off GW's Empire Wizard kit, which by the way is full of devious bits that are featured throughout my Traitor Guard army.  The face, rebreather mask and gernades are al form an Imperial Guard Command kit.  His left hand was stolen from a Forge World Renegade Militia Enforcer.  To help offset his frail appearance I wanted his right army to be that of a Vampire Crypt Ghoul.  The subtleness of this harmony creates a deception point from which the Platoon Command wields like a power sword.  

To the Officers right is the apple of my eye; a mutant.  Derived from a series of unlikely combinations this brute is beauty at its purest.  An Ork Nob torso, the legs and arms of a Cadian.  What puts this model over the top though is the mutated spawn head.  Last but not least is a dash of terminators armour.  Elegant.
Not quite as sophisticated as the mutate the skull faced Cadian model is just that.  Stealing a Chaos Marauder's mace and adding in some guitar string I feel that I have coveted this model with just the right amount of malice.  The next model lingers in background of each picture; lurking on the fringe of the peripheral, hiding the shadows.  Like the basis of the bulk of my models the body is comprised from a Cadian solider.  Repeating the same success from the Officer I gave this shadow operative arms from a Forge World Renegade Militia.  What is special about this figure though is that his head is that of a Secret Weapon Miniatures bit.  Specifically a sans helmet gas mask bit.  Clipping away the gas mask canister I was able to create a ninja like look to the model.   Last but not least is my take on Chris from Sippin' on Paint Water leather faced traitor. Gruesome is the only way to describe this chainsword wielding nutcase.

This is but the tip of the iceberg.  Wednesday WIPs will be feature each of the various 51 traitor guard that I myself have cobbled together.  Amongst the stains of their sins the beauty of Khorne can be found.  Each one of them is a unique model that I can call my own.  Each one twisted from the roots of their existence into some more foul then the one next to them.  Each of the more Ravenous then the other.

Monday, December 10, 2012

5 Sister Champions of Chaos Contest: The Winners

Champions of Chaos come in all forms and sizes but it those that spread the word of its' dark ruinous powers that deserve to be rewarded.  Here at The Chaos Manifesto I want to celebrate two such individuals.  Both them not only preached the foul incarnations of the Chaos but they each perpetrated the Eye of Terror itself.  Their participation in the Standard Template Construct's contest, Champions of Chaos, have caught both my attention and that of the Gods.  Through their hard work and dedication to the ruinous powers they have made me cry tears of blood.  For that I thank them but more importantly I am here as a herald to reward them.  Without further ado the true Champions of Chaos, the winners, of my sister contest are:

Zab from Almost Perftec wins the Mystery Prize.

Cpyke from Angels of Death wins a GW Gift Certificate for $15. 

To claim your gifts from the Dark Gods each of you need to leave me a comment here on this post with how I can get in touch with you.  Congratulations to both of you for not only entering my contest here at The Chaos Manifesto but for entering the Contest over at Standard Template Construct.  To the rest of you please head on over to the Standard Template Construct and vote for what you consider t be the best painted and the best converted model.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

4 WIP it Wednesday #31: Their Will Be Blood

With my army list in hand the path to destruction is now in my crosshairs.  My target GottaCon 2013.  The plan is take it down this year with a performance better than last year.  No easy goal by any means considering that I placed eighth overall, with a third place standings in sportsmanship and painting/modelling.  The tournament had sixty warlords vying for gods to smile down on them.  With this in mind I set out on building the models that I would need to take the convention down.  In total I would be building a foot army dedicated to the Blood God.  This army is to be spearheaded by a Renegade Space Wolf force that is joined by a company of imperial guard traitors.  In total I am looking at fielding a hundred and one models in a 1750pt game.  To be precise I am talking about forty nine power armoured freaks with fifty two traitor guardsmen.  Nothing to scoff at by any means.  
This past week I set about recruiting the fifty two traitors that the army was going to need. They are the cannon fodder, the work horse, for my blood filthy army. Looking deep into the dark vengeance that drives these renegades I set forth on creating each of them as an individualistic as possible. With a strong urge to have each platoon stand out from the one next to name I leaned heavily on the forge world's of chaos to provide me a hand.
Lingering on the edge of this cease pool of filth are two Lone Wolves.  Each of them keeping these scumbags from stabbing the back of the one next to him.  Each of them a ticking time bomb ready to be uleashed on my unsuspecting foes.  Personally I could care little about their pathetic existence as they are but a distraction of resilience.  If they die they will be replaced with by another outcast.  If they live they will be granted another chance to spill their own blood for the all mighty Khorne.   This is but a glimpse into the future for these warriors of chaos have only taken the first step in the evolution.  Minor adjustments to each them will be made.  Primmer and paint will be applied.  The outcome of what is to come is uncertain but thing is inevitable, there will be blood. 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

2 STC Saturdays: Se7en Deadly Sins vs The Lost Room

The hatred runs deep...deep into my veins...coursing through my flesh and bone.  Boiling my blood and churning my flesh.  There is no end, means or reasons for my internal hate.  It is as much apart of me as the blistering sun is as part of the sky.  It has resided in me since the birth of my existence.  My life has flowed with the ebb of it lust for blood.  Smouldering amongst a whirl wind of acrid smoke and anger.  Inwards I direct it towards the damnation of my soul.  Unleashing my eternal hell through the end of barrel.  Leaving nothing behind but the legacy of my wrath.

The myth the sanity that I left behind is the stranger who shares the bed in my room.  A bitter old baster who drags me down into the filth of his mind.  Corrupting and twisting the visions of my work into the images that fester behind his skull.  I try to pay it no heed but its' twisted ways contort the fate of my free will.  Alone I am left with nothing.  Together we possess the power to melt and corrupt the entire imperium.  
The essence of this model was captured within the visage that came before my very eyes.  Straight from the depths of purgatory itself.  This is but the first step of many for the inner workings of my mind continue to grind away at the stone.  Lacking an inner fortitude of chaos it sits in a limbo of its own making.  Waiting and fester away at both our souls.  My wrath begins to boil.