Tuesday, July 17, 2012

4 Who the $%&# is HOTpanda?


Who the $%&# is HOTpanda??? This question has alluded me for the better half of my life. The only reason it has not transgressed with the other half, is that I lost it long ago with my virginity. Now that I have lost half of my readers I have nothing more to lose. With that said I hope to shed some light on the elusive topic known as HOTpanda. Neither HOT nor a Panda he is a man that does not require his underpants but is never seen without his towel as he is a man to be reckoned with. Surfing the cosmic rays of horror and science fiction he has been carving a path of destruction through the blog-o-sphere. Well slightly to the left side of it as the right side was occupied by a peanut. So without further ado lets see who the $%&# is HOTpanda???

HOTpanda - Since you are not a virgin and I am an adult let's skip right to the main act and forgo with the foreplay. Who the $%&# is HOTpanda???

HotPANDA - As long as you promise to cuddle with me when we are done? HAHAHA!!! Who the $%&# is HOTpanda??? That's one hell of a load question considering you yourself are the worse half of HOTpanda with me being the better half. For those that don't know a lick about me, well it would be my alter ego. If one was to open their mind to cosmic rays of the multiverse my voice would transgress all planes of reality. In laymen terms it's like eating a pastilla.

HOTpanda - Pastilla??? What the hell is that???

HotPANDA - It is a traditional Berber Moroccan dish. An elaborate meat pie that combines a savoury meat such as squabs, fledgling pigeons, and a crunchy layer of toasted and ground almonds, cinnamon, and sugar. Think of it as eating both your dinner and dessert into one mind blowing experience. Now where was I???

HOTpanda - You were talking about yourself or is that myself???

HotPANDA - That's right, myself not yourself cause no one cares to read about you. To sum up your pathetic attempt at a question, a HOTpanda is a blogging machine that is dedicated to the ruinous powers of Chaos. Riding the aether entrails of the warp I am able to transfix both time and space till all that I see is the Chaos that resides in everyone.

HOTpanda - So you are a lunatic that is spewing out mouthfuls of Chaotic bullshit on the internet in a sexy panda costume???

HotPANDA - One could put it that way but you forgot to mention that some of the crap that I excrement comes in out in the form of Warhammer 40k miniatures. Specifically armies that are dedicated to the forces of Chaos.

HOTpanda - And what exactly are we talking about here when you say armies?

HotPANDA - Chaos Space Marines (CSM) more specifically Nurgle CSM. I'm 100% devoted to the Gods of Chaos but have a special rotten place for Pappa Nurgle. He has repaid me back by helping me develop a strong love for both conversions and theming. I have fully built and painted 3000 point Nurgle army that has a forested swamp theme called The Betrayer's of Pain. I also have been meticulously working on a 5000 point Renegade Space Wolves/Khorne army for the better part of a year now. This army is filled with countless minor conversions that are hard to spot but if you look closely you will that each model has an unique head thus making each of them an individual. I have completed 2500 points of them and am now working on expanding the army with a CSM version. The Renegade Space Wolf side represent the army shortly after turning to the Blood God and the CSM is where they end up after hundreds of years in the warp.

HOTpanda - So you are essentially capturing the history of your Renegades with two armies that can be used with either codex to form one giant counts as army. I tip my hat off to your endeavour and to what you have achieved so far. If one wanted to check out your work where would find it?

HotPANDA - Your mom panty and bra drawer!!! Wait wouldn't that be my mom's drawer as well??? I am confused but you don't have to be if you just go my personal blog The Chaos Manifesto. Here is where you can find not only pictures of the models that I have worked on but an insight into who I am.

HOTpanda - I myself have visited your blog on more than one occasion. What was the motivating force behind the creation of your personal blog?

HotPANDA - I fell in love with blogging three years ago when my interest in participating in the various 40k forums began to wain. Blogging is essentially a home for those of us who want to set our own terms and not have to deal with the over the top personalities that plague the forums. With my deep love for the Chaos it was easy for me to focus in on a blog that would be dedicated to pushing an agenda that features the four Gods of Chaos.

HOTpanda - Nurgle check, Khorne check, but where is Tzneetch and Slaneesh? Any plans for armies that will show case their personalities?

HotPANDA - With the new Chaos Space Marine codex about to be released I figured I would wait till then to work an army that features one of them. Some ideas that I have bouncing around the inside of my head is a Sisters of Slaneesh army and a Knight's of Tzneetch force. Going to be tough though with the inclusion of allies in game of 40k now. Just so many ways to expand ones collection. A Traitor Guard or Chaos Daemon force is just so tempting to use as allies

HOTpanda - Speaking of allies I see you have found six of them at The Standard Template Construct. What's deal behind the seven of you joining forces?

HotPANDA - This past week I was invited to become one of the seven surviving abominable intelligences. Jack RedscorpsLantz MAridmonkLucky No.5DrkMoralsCitizensmith and myself hope to cast aside the prisons of your mind through a daily stream of knowledge, articles, tutorials, conversions, opinions, product spotlights and guest authors. As the sixth age of War casts its shadow down upon us we invite that you join us in our journey of enlightenment. We ask that you help us create the long lost Standard Template Construct.

HOTpanda - That is quite the gathering of established hobbyist and bloggers you are surrounded by. I take it that they were hard pressed to find an available author when they decided to invite you.

HotPANDA - I have no clue as to why I put up with you but to tell you the truth they felt that my, not yours, creative writing skills would be a great asset to the Standard Template Construct.

HOTpanda - So you were asked to join them for your natural ability to hold and work a pen, pencil or dare I say a peni...

HotPANDA - A what??? Don't even think about saying it or opening that can of worms. I have already stated in past interviews that I have no relation or ties with the Sexual Harassment Panda. This interview is over!!!

HOTpanda - Before I you go is there anything else you would like to say?

HotPANDA - in the infamous words of Boxer Santaros (from Southland Tales) "I'm a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide".

4 comments:

  1. Sexual Harassment Panda :-)

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  2. Well, that clears it right up.

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  3. If you guys dig my work head on over The Standard Template Construct for more HOTpanda on hotPANDA action.

    PS - Easy there Davey you don't a sexual harassment suit against you,now do you?

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  4. The real question is "Who the $%#& isn't HOTpanda?" :P

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